The Early Years

My elementary school years were no less awkward than any other time in my life. If anything, they were more so. Some kids had a natural confidence and knew how to handle themselves in any situation. I was not one of them. Shy and poor, I was an outcast at school, which made dealing with boys that much more difficult.

Boys in those early years were different. They played only together at recess; they sat at their own end of the table at lunch; they thought girls were gross. Guys blanched at the thought of girls having crushes on them and fiercely denied any similar feelings of their own. And who could blame them? Even talking to a girl was grounds for that goddam "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" taunt. I probably wouldn't have found it as annoying if it were ever about me, but nobody ever had a crush on me elementary school. Not that I knew of, at least.

Things are a bit different these days. I'm still shy and poor, but at least I've developed a sharp tongue to fend off the people who used to give me a hard time. Most of the guys have grown up or grown desperate and actually hit on me. Colored by my early experiences, however, I am as awkward as ever.

And so we begin. I have listed the stories in chronological order, plus there is a color coded timeline below the list.