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Halfway through my senior year of high school, my relationship with theStalker began to sour. His guilt tripping, sloppiness, and jealousy grated on my nerves no end, and as a result, I naturally began noticing other guys more. I would never have cheated on the Stalker, but I saw a breakup coming and couldn't help but start wondering about the better alternatives available. So it was that I first noticed Green Sweatshirt Guy (GSG) in my English class. He stood out because he wore a bright green sweatshirt every day; but for that I would never have noticed him since he was so quiet. I knew who he was, though, since he was a friend of Acid Fiend's and a friend of his who was in tech theatre with me. I never spoke to GSG, though I noticed him every day. He and I exchanged awkward glances every class period, and I wondered if we would ever speak. He probably knew I was in a relationship, for the Stalker tended to advertise. I didn't say too much about my relationship, at least not in the Stalker's trumpeting fashion. The Stalker was clingy and possessive, though, so people who didn't know me at all tended to know whom I was dating. By now used to the Stalker's pathological jealousy, I was careful not to mention GSG to him. Inevitably, of course, I slipped and pointed him out on way home one day. The Stalker was driving me down Buttercup Creek toward my house, and I spied the familiar bright green sweatshirt tied around the waist of GSG. "That guy's in my English class," I said. Instant jealousy from the Stalker. I never mentioned GSG again. The Stalker and I nearly broke up near the end of my senior year of high school, but we got back together the same day. We weren't apart long enough for me to seriously consider being single, though even if I had been single, I most likely would never have struck up a flirtatious conversation with GSG. He was, after all, a drug user like Acid Fiend and the rest of his friends. GSG ultimately dropped out and wound up working in a coffee shop. His other friend who was in my English class did graduate high school and, after drifting for a few years, got his act together and studied entomology at UT. As with the stories of the Acid Fiend and the New Kid, all I really learned from GSG was that jealous guys suck, and I can't and won't date drug users. I think the jealousy issue is probably worse, actually: Drug use can end, but mental defects are forever. The Stalker's jealously prevented me from feeling comfortable in talking to GSG even as just a friend, which I probably would have done otherwise. Granted, I was still shy, and I didn't want anything to do with drug users really, but I might have at least had a few nice conversations. I've never dated an irrationally jealous guy since, but if I ever do, I'll know to dump him on the spot since his insecurity is contagious. Jealousy on that level provokes fear and guilt in the other person, which eats away at the relationship and twists it into something horrible. The Stalker ruined a lot of friendships for me that way; damned if I ever let a psychopath's issues get in my way again. |