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It was the summer before my senior year of high school. I was fresh into my relationship with Stalker, which had yet to sour. He interned at IBM and would stop by my house most days after work. With the cash he earned, we would go to the bookstore and the mall to catch movies. Usually the movies were free since we had a friend who worked in the theatre, and he would let us in for free if we would help him clean up. Therefore Stalker and I spent quite a bit of time in the movie theatre, and we got to know one of our friend's coworkers, Movie Theatre Guy (MTG). MTG and I rarely spoke, but I took a liking to him because he reminded me of a boy I had met a few times as a child. My mom and exstepdad lived on a sailboat in Clear Lake, and one of the other liveaboard families had a son a couple of years older than I whom I sometimes spotted rowing a dingy around the marina. My mom told me this boy had asked about me a couple of times, and she thought he had a crush on me. I was delighted since I had a crush on him too, but alas, I never saw him again. MTG bore a resemblance to this boy and even shared the first name, but it wasn't the same guy. Still, it helped me like him. He was a nice guy, easygoing, joking around with his coworkers and always friendly toward Stalker and me. Sometimes I imagined MTG even nursed a small crush on me. It killed me. Here I was, only weeks into my first relationship ever, and here I was developing feelings for somebody else? It couldn't be right. Was I a slut? Was I doomed to be incapable of sustaining a relationship faithfully, just like my mother? No! No, I would not be like her. I squashed the memory and began avoiding the movie theatre. I realized in time that that would never work without arousing suspicion, and anyway, MTG wasn't always there. Stalker and I continued to frequent the theatre, and I continued conversing happily with MTG as usual, trying to resist the temptation to flirt. I worried and worried about my little crush, wondering how I could get rid of it. One day, however, MTG uttered five words that solved the problem. "I'm so high right now," MTG said randomly mid-conversation one day. Stalker laughed, as did I, but it was forced on my part. I have always despised drug use, but it's even worse when someone is under the influence at work or while driving, etc. My crush withered and perished. I didn't dislike him now, but certainly I no longer wondered or worried about what might be. With the temptation gone, there was no danger of me destroying my relationship with Stalker. In retrospect, I probably should have ditched the Stalker early on in our relationship and dated MTG, even if only briefly, because anything would have been better than the Stalker. Ah well. At the summer's end, MTG disappeared, presumably to go back to school. Stalker and I still went to that movie theatre, and I went on my own several times after breaking up with Stalker, but I never saw MTG again. It's probably just as well since he was a drug user, after all, and I prefer not to associate with drug users at all. |