As I've already explained on the Misconceptions page, knitting is not sexy: Knitted undergarments prove this definitively. As I've said before, just because you can knit it doesn't mean you necessarily should. Behold:
That poor groom.
As if it weren't bad enough that there will be knitted flowers at the bridal shower (if it were me, I'd rather just receive the yarn if the guests had to give me something other than, say, a toaster), the bride will now have an ugly garter to contend with.
Let us start with the hideous color. Bridal accessories, if not white, should be pale pink or pale blue, not obnoxious fuchsia-magenta-whatever-the-fuck. This is not only out of tradition, but also out of practicality so the undergarments don't show through. Most wedding dress skirts are thick enough to hide whatever is beneath, but nevertheless.
Still on the topic of color, the ribbon inside the garter doesn't coordinate with the loud color on the outside and gives it an unfinished look. Also, there should be elastic instead of or in addition to the ribbon inside the garter. Knitting will not stay up by itself, so the garter is almost guaranteed to slip and fall down, tripping the bride as she walks down the aisle, assuming she wears the atrocity in the first place. If it were me, I'd probably lie and said I had it on under my dress when I had in fact flushed it down the toilet before the ceremony. Ahem. Anyway, still on the topic of knitting and elasticity, the knitter didn't explain the importance of negative ease in a fitting. With knitted garments that are supposed to hug the body, the garment should be smaller than the desired finished measurement; that way it will hug the figure accordingly. In the case of a garter, even if you measure the length very carefully, the garter can still fall down. Knitting will not stretch and hold its shape sufficiently well; the garter needs either an elastic band or some kind of closure to hold it up.
Another problem with knitting such a garter is the lace material. Lace knitting is not the same as traditional lace; it's far more open. All those little holes are just waiting to snag on something, such as the groom's teeth when he pulls it off. Worse still, even the smoothest yarns produce lint, so the groom will have a mouthful of lint to unromantically remove with his fingers after he removes the garter. Also, the relative roughness of the yarn could easily put a run in the bride's stockings.
Aside from obvious aesthetics, undergarments should not be knitted for practical reasons: Even the lightest yarns produce a fabric far thicker than most undergarments, and even something as innocuous as a lace garter will be thick, hot, and unabsorbent in the sun under several layers of wedding dress frills.
Aside from the stupidity in knitting a garter in the first place, I had problems with the knitting itself. Most obviously, the knitter stated in the pattern that gauge didn't matter. Yes it does! Gauge matters, especially on something that has to be fitted. Too wide or too narrow a garter will look awkward. I also thought the knitting looked uneven. I know it's hard to place a knitted article exactly right for a photo, but I still observed a certain lack of consistency in the knitting, plus the whole pattern should have been decidedly less bulky on the edges. Little knots of yarn are very uncomfortable to sit on; if the knitter wanted to add some much-needed decoration to the garter, she should have added more ribbons and minimized the presence of the yarn. Better still, if she insisted on making the garter herself instead of buying one premade, she should have just sewn up some ribbons around an elastic band and not bothered with knitting a garter. Garters, like all undergarments, most emphatically should not be knitted.
Just for reference, this is what a garter is supposed to look like:
Note the presence of stockings (thus giving the garter purpose), the traditional white, the delicate feminine detailing, the elastic so it will stay on, and the absence of itchy shit just waiting to snag on something or leave bits of yarn lint in the groom's teeth when he removes it. I bought the above garter at Frederick's of Hollywood for less than ten dollars, which is less than the cost and time of the materials for the garter above. Also, it looks a damn sight better, too.
For easy comparison:
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Which would you rather come home to? or at the very least remove with your teeth?
Of course, it may all be irrelevant since the blurb explained that the bride had eloped. In such a case, how about instead of giving her knitwear, you give her a handbook on how to get divorced without fuss? It'd be less offensive than this tacky crap.
Oh. Wait. The knitter said the bride is getting married in Vegas. Never mind, this knitted garter isn't tacky enough.