Klein Bottle Hat and Moebius Scarf FAQ

Q. You openly profess to be terrible at math. So how did you hear about the Moebius strip and Klein bottle?

A. I first heard of the Moebius strip when I was looking at scarf patterns a couple of years ago. I may be bad at math, but knitting is all about math, so it's not hard to find mathematically interesting patterns. Some people take it a bit further, though, and create mathematical designs with the actual fabric. A Moebius strip is a perfect example.


Q. Can't you create a Moebius scarf by simply knitting a rectangle, twisting it, and sewing the ends together?

A. Yes, but I didn't want to do so because I prefer more of a challenge. Besides, then there would be a visible seam. So I found a pattern for a Moebius scarf knitted in the round, meaning there would be no seam. It was really confusing, though, so I decided to save it until I got better at knitting and had more of an idea how it would work.


Q. So what made you finally decide to knit the scarf and hat?

A. I wasn't sure if I actually wanted them for myself, but I didn't know anyone who would appreciate them. Then I met the Professor. He was a mathematician, specifically interested in topology. Perfect. I decided to create a Moebius scarf and Klein bottle hat for him by way of an apology after a couple of unfortunate incidents. I presented the two to him shortly before moving to Houston. I also gave him the leather bound omnibus edition of Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I put the book inside the hat and then wrapped the scarf around the hat. I tied it all in place with a couple of lengths of ribbon, each in a sailor's knot (but of course). Anyway, I presented the whole thing to him—he said something like "please don't tell me you knitted all this" and I said yes, I had. I later joked about how I'd had many false starts and fuck ups in the process of making each, mostly the scarf, and most emphatically did not want either in my possession anymore. Too true—while knitting the scarf, I bitched to a friend about how insanely complex the pattern was, and he joked about how hand knit presents were supposed to have love in every stitch. I said, "Bullshit; this scarf is full of rage, incompetence, frustration, and loathing." I doubt there's a negative telepathic imprint on the fabric, though.


Q. How did you arrive at the insanely complex figure eight knot pattern?

A. I at first was going to do a reversible parallelogram pattern; it seemed fitting since the Professor was a mathematician. But then that pattern proved difficult for going around the center seam (the corners of the parallelograms wouldn't go in the right direction no matter what I did), so I decided to change it. I tricked the Professor into telling me his favorite shape—a figure eight knot. Of course. It couldn't have been a simple square or something. He even showed me a picture. Based on the picture, I designed a cabled version of the figure eight. I knew it would be hard, but, I figured, no harder than the reversible parallelograms were proving. I had a similar working pattern of a figure eight knot already; all I really had to change was the center bar that crosses in front; in the original pattern it crosses behind. Anyway, both the hat and scarf need reversible patterns, so I figured out how to do a cable backwards, which was a real pain in the ass. I would have liked to have made it so that the knot looked the same on both sides so I could have avoided making cables backwards; alas, it was impossible.


Q. WTF is up with the infinity signs and increases on the Klein bottle heat?

A. I would have liked to have had all figure eight knots on that as I did the scarf, but I couldn't find a good way to work increases and decreases with the figure eight knots without having the hat come out all lopsided. I chose the infinity sign because it looked similar to the figure eight knot, only smaller.


Q. How long did these take to make?

A. I believe I started working on these in mid-November, and I finished in February. Now, not all of that time was spent working on the scarf and hat; I would abandon each for a couple of weeks at a stretch to work on other projects. Either way, though, they were quite time-consuming, especially the Moebius scarf since it was 540 stitches around most of the time.


Q. How much yarn did you use?

A. Um. A lot. I think the scarf and hat each used at least three skeins, or nine ounces. Probably a bit more. There was a fair amount of wasted yarn on the Moebius scarf, though, since I had so many false starts and fuck ups.


Q. Will you make me a Moebius scarf and/or Klein bottle hat?

A. Sure. If you buy me the yarn and also pay for shipping if need be (if you live near me, you can simply drive to pick it up—in a public location, obviously), I will make one for you. Bear in mind this will not be a speedy project, especially if you choose an insanely complicated pattern like the figure eight knots. If you want a plain pattern, it will take much less time. Just email me with details, and we'll work something out.


Q. You really wouldn't mind doing all that work again? These projects really seemed to frustrate you.

A. Well, yes, they did, because I had no idea what I was doing and chose a stupidly complicated pattern. Thank God I didn't also try to incorporate color changes. But I wouldn't mind making them again if it meant the chance to hone my skills and produce better quality knitting as a result.


Q. . . . Does this imply that the original scarf and hat were of inferior quality?

A. Yep. Totally sucked. Sorry, Professor. (Although I will say that my Klein bottle hat was far better than most of the utter shit I've seen elsewhere on the web; barely identifiable things that more closely resemble tea cosies.)


Q. Oh. Well, did the Professor appreciate them, at least?

A. Yes, I think so, especially when I expressed my desire to get the damn things off my hands. Most of my knitted projects I'm pleased to see upon completion; this hat and scarf I regarded with hatred. They caused me much grief in the making; I didn't really want them around anymore, mocking me with the reminder of the angst I felt during the knitting. So the Professor took them, attempting to turn the Klein bottle hat inside out within the first five minutes and not being able to get it back into the right shape. *sigh* But it's out of my hands now.