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Q. What does "Fuzzknot" mean? A. I had a cat named Fuzzknot, now deceased. She was one of three kittens my dad found abandoned in the chicken coop of a farmhouse where we used to live. The other two cats were called McDoodle and Three, and Fuzzknot was by far the weirdest. Never a very bright or graceful creature, she was perhaps best known among my friends for the time she ran at full speed into a screen door and knocked it off its track. Anyway, contrary to what my dad (among other people) might think, there are other Fuzzknots out there, so if you do a Google search and find a Fuzzknot that's not attached to this URL or my email address, odds are, it's not me. Q. So what exactly is this website? A. It's a hodgepodge of things I do for amusement. Or something like that. I mostly use it to publish stories about bad dates and klutzy incidents, my political opinions, knitting patterns, and recipes, but it also houses pages for my rants, audio stuff, pranks I play, pictures, and a few other random things. Q. And who exactly are you? A. God, does it even matter? . . . Oh, well, if you care, read the about me section. Q. I really hated [fill-in-the-blank] on your site. It sucks/take it down. A. No. It's my site. Click the back button and move on. And odds are, if anything on here offends you that much, the most likely reason is that it hit too close to home. Consider the source before you send me hate mail, and then still don't do it. Why do you even care, anyway? Q. Do you actually get/respond to email about your website? A. I do indeed receive a bit of email about this site, usually fan mail. That does not mean I respond to everything. I'll respond only if I feel like it. More to the point, I will not respond to email containing an excessive amount of CAPS, exclamation points, bullshit hate mail, l33tspeak, butchering of the English language in the guise of "abbreviations," or uses of the word "dude." Q. What the hell possessed you to start the ARSE section? A. As I already said in the ARSE section, it was mostly influenced by the site Awkward Things I Say to Girls. ARSE was also part of the solution to a couple of requests to put more of myself on the site. I'm not sure how a site that's really nothing but me could possibly need more of me on it, but whatever. Since the stories of my apocalyptically awful flirting are legend among my friends, I decided I should create a section to relate those foiled attempts, along with stories of my exes so I wouldn't have to keep telling them to new people. Q. How long have you been knitting?/Why did you want to learn how to knit?/Any other question about knitting? A. Read About Knitting. Q. . . . What about Bad Knitting? A. *sigh* As I said on the Bad Knitting page, I shamelessly stole the idea from Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy. I saw an opportunity to snipe at idiots and ran with it. Q. Why did you start Klutzy Incidents? A. Uh . . . because I'm fairly clumsy. As with ARSE, I decided to exploit this so-called fault for humorous purposes. Q. What happened to Klutzy Incident of the Day? A. I couldn't keep up with updating it daily; besides, most of the incidents were stupid, so I decided to scale back. Also, not worrying about that left me free to focus on better parts of the site. Q. How many other sites like this are out there? A. *shrug* I'm sure there are lots of sites similar to mine, most of the ones of which I've visited, I am pleased to note, suck more than this one. Q. Why don't you put more effort into the design of your site? A. Because all the fancy icons in the world won't stop anyone from looking like an idiot. I like to see real content when I visit websites, not filler material. I almost always click the "back" button the moment I see a cheesy animation or, worse still, hear a blaring midi file over whatever I was actually listening to. Besides, a text-heavy site like this one doesn't need a lot of graphics. Q. I really don't like the green theme of your site. A. Fuck you. Q. Will you put me on your site? A. Odds are, if you're not here already, it's because I don't want you here. Consider appearing here a dubious honor which most people don't deserve. Q. How long do you plan run this website? A. As long as I can. If I get bored with it, I'll take it down. |