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There will undoubtedly be some questions about this from everyone except Aron and Justin . . . and even at that, I don't know. Probably the most obvious question is "What. The fuck. Is that." . . . Well, obviously, it's an ongoing joke. It started with Aron's sixteenth birthday, when we were both in tenth grade. I had recently completed my first KP story ever, creatively titled "Herman the Hermaphrodite", and Aron and I had a running joke that Aron was in fact a hermaphrodite or gay or . . . something. I was always teasing him that the seams of his undershirt, which I could see through his shirt, were actually bra straps. Anyway, this resulted in me making a particularly hideous greeting card for his birthday. I photocopied his yearbook picture, cut it out, taped it to a cut-out women's underwear ad, and copied the whole thing so it looked like he was wearing a bra. I did the same thing with two of our least favorite teachers, Coach Barnett and Coach Hazen. Then I took a piece of pink construction paper, folded it in half, and glued the doctored pic of Aron to the front and the pix of Hazen and Barnett inside. I added some sort of silly birthday message and proudly presented it to him in the middle of the very uptight Mrs. Jenkins' geometry class on his birthday. (I don't think she noticed. . . . Considering the fact that we didn't get written up, she couldn't possibly have.) I will never forget the look on his face. Hee. Anyway, ever since, we sent each other the worst, most wildly inappropriate e-cards we could find for each other's birthdays, various holidays (especially ones we don't celebrate), etc. . . . So, when the eve of his 22nd birthday rolled around, I started thinking about looking for hideous e-cards to send his way. Then I decided I'd like to do something different, something homemade, perhaps. Maybe something digitally altered; naturally, the tackier, the better. And what could be worse than something from Klein? So I went to the KHS website and started looking around, thinking maybe I could doctor a picture of one of the principals or something, and then I thought, "No! Better! Some dumb jock!" I wasn't sure if there were any old pix of jocks from when we were in school available, but I figured it was worth a shot. I never got the chance, though, for as soon as I clicked on the link to the athletics teams or what the fuck ever they called it, I saw the most disgustingly inappropriate piece of clip art I have ever seen in the form of the link to the wrestling page. I laughed hysterically; I literally cried from laughing so hard . . . especially when I noticed that it was the only icon on the whole page that wasn't animated. They must have known how much worse that would have been. I mean, god damn, they could have at least had an icon of like a wrestling ring or something, anything but that. God. But, of course, it was perfect, and as soon as I stopped laughing long enough, I right-clicked and saved it. Of course, I wanted to get Aron's face in there somehow. I went to his and Justin's page, hvguy.com in hopes of finding something that I could blend with the clip art, and sure enough, right there on the index page was a picture of Aron that was small enough that I wouldn't even have to resize it. It was a mildly wrong-looking picture anyway; it looked like he was pissing fire, but never mind. I saved that picture, copied, pasted, and rotated the part with his head, et voila. And of course this section wouldn't be complete without me saying that yes, I did send the webmaster of the Klein wrestling page an email which read as follows:
His response read as follows:
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