"This is such bullshit!"

As most people reading this site are probably aware by now, I went to the University of Texas at Austin and got a Bachelor of Science in Radio-Television-Film. My particular focus was on audio, so, as an undergraduate, I took a few audio classes and often did sound work on student films as class projects.

One of the films I worked on was called Indecision, in which a young man struggles with the direction his life is taking. His father, concerned about his son's lack of ambition, attempts to improve matters by taking him to a seminar with a motivational speaker. The attempt is thwarted when the son proves totally unresponsive. At one point, the son openly mocks the motivational speaker by claiming (correctly), "This is such bullshit!"

So I was doing some audio post-production on this film one afternoon in one of the ProTools (audio) editing suites in the RTF building. I listened in irritation to a lecture that was going on in the classroom that shared a wall with the room where I was. 'So much for "soundproof" walls,' I thought snippily as I listened to the annoying voice of the lecturer.

An hour or so later, my classmate and fellow worker on the Indecision project, Jarad, came in to the editing room to talk and see how things had been going. It transpired that he was actually in the class that was going on next door, which was on a break at the moment. He was understandably even more frustrated than I with the professor's lecturing. I smirked, insincerely consoled him, and sent him on his not-so-merry way back to class. I returned to work on the film, growing increasingly frustrated as my editing attempts were thwarted by the excessively loud droning of the professor next door. I rolled my eyes, sighed, gritted my teeth, and tried unsuccessfully to ignore it.

An hour or so later, I was finished for the day and began getting ready to leave. Meanwhile, the class next door was still going on. Just as my hand went toward the "exit" command on ProTools, I hesitated. I got an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea (with apologies to Dr. Seuss).

I quickly, stealthily, got all my things together. I put my headphones away, packed my book bag, and put it on. I turned out the lights and made sure the door was unlocked. I did everything necessary to facilitate a quick getaway. And then—

I cued up ProTools to a split second before the line "This is such bullshit!" I cranked the potentiometers (volume controls) up to full blast, which, in case you haven't guessed by now, in a professional audio editing room chock full of speakers, is pretty fucking loud. I hit "play" and covered my ears.

"THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT!"


boomed out of the speakers and through the not-so-soundproof walls, beautifully interrupting the aggravating lecture next door.

Then I very hastily shut down the computer and got the hell out. I hauled ass out of the building and was at my bus stop before anyone could find out who'd done it.