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Not that I'm a neoLuddite or anything; I mean, I run a website, for God's sake, but sometimes technology really sucks, ya know? Take cellular phones. Yes, I have one; no, I don't use it very much. I take it with me in the car sometimes in case there's an emergency, and indeed it has come in handy. But that's where I draw the line. I refuse to leave it on when I'm out with friends, and I won't even take it into the building when I'm going to watch a film or attend a class. Sometimes phones left unattended in bags turn themselves on and then what if it rings, and anyway, if you're going to be in a situation where you can't (well, shouldn't) answer the phone, why bother bringing it? I'm reminded of that scene in the movie Hook (you remember, the 1994 travesty of Peter Pan) where the grown-up Peter answers his cel phone in the middle of his daughter's school play. I mean, what the fuck. How inconsiderate is that. It's your own kid's play, for God's sake, you could at least have some respect for that. I swear, if my (as yet unknown) husband ever does anything like that, I'm divorcing him on the spot. Actually, even better, they should have done something like they did in a "Something Positive" strip. They were doing this play about Jesus and some guy answered his phone in the middle of the show, and this usher dressed like a Roman came over and hacked the phone in half with his sword, and then dragged the guy onstage and crucified him. Absolutely priceless. Perhaps I wouldn't go that far myself, but I would definitely consider snatching someone's phone and flinging it across the theatre, at the very least. Cel phones in theatres aren't the worst, though. Once when I was a freshman at UT, in one of those huge three or four hundred people classes in a big auditorium, some chick's cel phone went off and she actually answered it. She had a short, only barely muffled conversation and then hung up, without even apologizing for interrupting the class. I wish professors would make people leave for stuff like that. Of course, it's in vain to hope for such things when some of the professors carry cel phones too. I remember this one class I had my sophomore year at UT, the professor was prepping us for the final exam, and every single day for at least three weeks leading up to the exam, she'd tell us not to bring cel phones to the exam. The day of the exam, we all got there and sat down, and she handed out the exams, and then her cel phone went off. Figures. But you know what's worse than any of that? The ridiculous way people get carried away with accessorizing their phones. They'll get different colors and fancy carrying cases and they'll fix it so they can send emails and shit over their phones. I mean, why? If you travelled a lot and didn't always have access to a computer, I could see maybe the email thing, but the thing is, most people don't have to worry about that. It's like urban cowboys driving their damn SUVs over quiet neighborhood streets, but that's a whole different rant. Right now I'm bitching about frivolous phones. And frivolous ring tones! Oh, the ring tones. Of all the irritating features one could possibly add to a cel phone, I think silly ring tones are the absolute worst, probably because they're the only truly noticeable thing. I think the best way to sum up my feelings on this matter is to quote an email from Sheel Patak of KVRX: "Im in the library and someone's phone just rang and I swear to god it was the loudest damned ring i've ever heard and i am on the other side of the library. it was all orchestral and booming and crazy and its just a damned phone why cant it go 'ring ring' or vibrate or play some faggoty song really quietly? ITS NOT A STEREO." Good Lord, that cracked me up. It was just perfect. I think quoting Sheel was all I really had to say, therefore this rant is over. |